The Official Hate Mail List
I completely understand why so many people send me hate mail.
Please know that I am a human and like many other humans I'm imperfect. Yes, I do make mistakes from time to time. Since my website is my own design, it too is imperfect. If I were Jeff Bezos my website would be flawless. Alas I'm stuck being me so there are some things about my business that I am unable to change. Despite this, I still give up most of my time (including holidays and weekends) to help other woodworkers, but regrettably my best efforts are often not good enough. Here is a list of common hate mail messages.
- "I am not ordering from you because there is no phone number to call!"
It's hard for me to disagree with you on this. I wish I could offer phone ordering. I've actually tried it but things didn't work out the way I had hoped.
- "You charge too much for shipping!"
In fourteen years of business, I've never made a single penny on shipping. In fact, at the end of most years - including 2016 - I lost money on total shipping expenses (UPS costs + USPS costs + boxes from Uline). There are typically three or four orders every week for which my website charged the customer more than what it cost me. When this happens, I give my wife a list with the customers who were charged too much. She processes a refund for the difference and then sends them a friendly email about it.
- "I don't care what you say! You still charge too much for shipping!"
Within the last two years, I've spent more than 45 hours working to find ways to make shipping costs affordable. UPS has given us a discount and I've programmed my site to pass that discount direct to our customers. Perhaps the better way to word this message is "UPS charges too much for shipping." I completely agree with that. Please share your comments with UPS about this.
- "You're a jerk because you won't ship my package overnight!"
I'm sorry that I don't ship via the UPS express methods. Because of dimensional weight practices, it is nearly impossible to estimate the shipping costs and if your package doesn't arrive on time, you will be able to get your credit card provider to give you a full refund of the shipping charges and the items in the order. It's probably fair to call me a jerk but not because I don't offer express shipping options.
- "I hate you because you won't ship to my country!"
Don't hate me. Hate the actions of some people in those countries which prevent me from being able to accept credit cards from those parts of the world. This is not my choice. It is a policy created by the company I have chosen to securely process credit cards for me.
- "I'm writing a negative review! You didn't answer my email within 15 minutes!"
I apologize that it took 22 minutes for me to reply to your email. I didn't know it was urgent. I should have known better than to step away from my computer to eat a cold dinner in the warehouse at 9pm on a Saturday night.
- "I'm filing a dispute with my credit card company because my package was delivered a day late and now my project is delayed!"
I apologize and I understand that I must pay for something that was not my fault. Like me, UPS isn't perfect but I recognize that I'm the one who must face the consequences of their mistake. Maybe you should have ordered a bit sooner.
- "I'm telling everyone that you forgot to answer the 16th question in my email!"
Whoops! Not sure how I missed that question but at least I did answer questions 1 through 15 and 17 through 21. The answer to question 16 in your email is... yes, you should always veneer the back side of the panel to prevent warping.
- "You have the worst company in the world because you don't have YouTube videos that teach me how to use veneer!"
I'm not very photogenic. In fact, I'm ugly as sin so I don't think many people would want to see me in a video. I should also point out that a good video takes a lot of time to create. I spend all of my time answering email which has a higher priority than putting my butt-face on YouTube. I also don't think proper veneering can be taught in a 3 minute video. You can call me ugly but I probably don't have the worst company in the world.
- "Your website is horrible!"
Both of my sites are hard to navigate and fairly confusing to some people. It's impossible these days to find an honest, knowledgeable, and affordable web programmer or PHP expert so I have had to do it myself. I do my best with the skills that I have.
- "Everyone else - except you - will accept PayPal. What's wrong with you?"
It is my opinion that PayPal protects consumers, not sellers. They won't protect me from customers who don't know their own shipping address so I've had to stop taking payments this way. If you provide a bad address on your order, I'm the one who pays for it and PayPal couldn't care less.
- "Your website has so many typos that you should be ashamed of yourself!"
I doo updayt da siTe almoast Evry day for grammmaticle errrrorrs and spelin miztakes. Pleeze let mee no watt I've mist.
Feel free to add to this list.
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Go ahead and let'r rip...